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Posted by / 07-Nov-2017 17:05

And if I had to bet, it’s also probably making you and others avoid asking her anything unless it’s absolutely necessary, because that’s a common response when people know they’re likely to get sucked into a far-longer-than-needed conversation.

And while I know you want to be kind, as her manager you’re actually doing her a disservice by talking to her about how to communicate more effectively.

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This person has been with the company for 15 years and is very nice, but also very defensive. If I ask her a question about something work-related, which I need to do several times a day, it turns into a rambling answer complete with examples and anecdotes.

In the moment, you can often preemptively head off long, rambling responses by saying, “I just have a minute, but can you tell me briefly what’s going on with XYZ? ” Or, “Give me the one-minute version of where we are with XYZ.” If she processes those signals, that might decrease a lot of this.

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In general, assume that I’m usually looking for the quick summary on something, and that I’ll always let you know if I need more information.” You mentioned that she’s defensive, so let’s also talk about how to handle that if it happens.

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