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Instead of focusing on things like appearance, the type of car he drives and "all the adjectives you've had since you were 24," she says, "really [figure] out the feelings you want to feel in a partnership and what that looks like in real life.Women of maturity learn that there are so many different attributes of a man that count so much more." 3. " There's still more "me work" to be done when dating like a grown-up.There's still the matter of erasing "those recordings that play in your head about men and relationships," Palmer said."'Men only want sex, men don't want relationships...' It's about getting past your limiting beliefs." Palmer acknowledges that these beliefs can become as automatic as "blinking," but said it's a matter of first recognizing that those beliefs exist and working through why you feel that way. "Make a plan of where and how you're going to meet the right men and how to get a date," Palmer advised.

But if not, don't be afraid to start all over again."You don't need to share about your kids who are ungrateful, your bankruptcy case from five years ago or your gout," Palmer said. "Is he giving you the feelings that you've identified [are important to you] in your list?It's about getting that intellect back and making good choices." If the person you've found continues to hit all the new and approved adult checkmarks you've made for yourself, great!One study found that speed daters questioned about their relationship preferences usually prove themselves wrong just minutes later with what they show to prefer in the actual event.This shouldn’t be a surprise—in life, you usually don’t get good at something until you’ve done it a bunch of times.

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Unreliability and confusion do not have to be a part of your dating-over-50 experience, dating coach Bobbi Palmer told Huff/Post50.